Polyvagal Theory Explained Simply (And How It Applies to Everyday Stress)

Have you ever wondered why you can know you're safe, but still feel like you're bracing for impact? Why your shoulders stay tight, your thoughts race, or your breath feels shallow—even when the crisis has passed?

The answer might lie in something called polyvagal theory. And no, you don’t need a neuroscience degree to understand it. In fact, once you learn the basics, it can totally change how you relate to stress, your body, and your emotions.

What Is Polyvagal Theory?

At its core, polyvagal theory explains how your nervous system responds to safety and danger.

It was developed by Dr. Stephen Porges and offers a more updated view of the autonomic nervous system (the system that controls things like heart rate, breath, and digestion without you thinking about it).

The key idea? Your body isn’t just toggling between "fight-or-flight" and "rest-and-digest"—it has three pathways it uses to respond to the world:

The 3 States of the Nervous System (Simplified):

1. Ventral Vagal (Safe & Social)

   • This is where you feel calm, connected, and capable.

   • Your breath is steady. You can think clearly. You’re open to conversation and presence.

   • It's where healing happens. This is your home base.

2. Sympathetic (Fight-or-Flight)

   • You feel anxious, restless, angry, or hyper-alert.

   • You might want to do something, fix something, or just get away.

   • Your heart rate rises. Digestion slows. Muscles brace.

   • This state is about survival—great in emergencies, but not meant to be your norm.

3. Dorsal Vagal (Shutdown or Freeze)

   • You feel numb, foggy, spaced out, or hopeless.

   • It’s like your system is saying, “Too much. I can’t deal.”

   • This is a deep conservation mode where everything slows way down.

     
     

     

Here’s Why This Matters:

You move between these states every day, often without realizing it. The key is not to force yourself to “stay calm” all the time, but to recognize where you are, and gently guide your system back to safety.

Polyvagal theory gives you a map—and once you have that map, you stop blaming yourself for how your body reacts. You start to work with your nervous system, not against it.

Everyday Examples:

• You’re in a meeting and feel your chest tighten → Sympathetic activation

• You binge-watch Netflix and ignore texts → Dorsal shutdown

• You take a walk, breathe deeply, and start to feel human again → Ventral return

This isn’t about perfection. It’s about awareness, regulation, and recovery.

So… How Do You Regulate?

Start small.

• Breathwork (even 2 minutes) can bring you back into ventral vagal safety.

• Gentle movement like yoga, stretching, or walking reminds your system it’s okay now.

• Noticing your environment—what feels safe, warm, or supportive—can signal “we’re not in danger anymore.”

And if you're not sure how your system is wired, I made a free quiz to help you figure it out.

👉 Are You Stuck in Survival Mode?

Discover how your body reacts under stress — and what to do about it. ➡️ Take the quiz: Are You Stuck in Survival Mode?

Ready to Feel Calmer—Without Adding More to Your To-Do List?

Check out the Calm Body, Clear Mind Starter Course—designed to help you gently shift out of chronic stress with simple daily habits, breath practices, and movement that feels like relief.➡️ Learn More Here

Want to Go Deeper?

This is just one part of the Inner Balance Method—a course designed to help overwhelmed women regulate their nervous systems and finally feel like themselves again.➡️ Join the Waitlist

Final Thought:

You don’t have to think your way out of stress. You can feel your way back to safety—one breath, one moment, one nervous system shift at a time.